Now that I am a week away from returning to school I am feeling a real mix of emotions. I am feeling guilty that I will be leaving the kids to go to school because I am so happy that I will have some productive time to myself. I am starting to feel the veil of depression I have been feeling dissipate; for a little bit I have been very apathetic and I am at a crossroads where I feel like I know I am happy but at the same time I’m not quite there yet.
Every time I go out with the kids, I am shocked about how many people tell me how great of a father I am. I find it hard to believe to be honest. On Sunday, Liam and I went to a beach party for a kid from his class. At one point while the kids were off playing in the water, the boys grandma took me aside and said, “you know you are such an amazing father. You are doing great with them.” I all I try to do is learn from my mistakes; I learn from them how to be a good dad. I honestly don’t know what I am doing. At least I’m honest about it.