Why I Do This

I want to share this with everyone. Not for the awesome praise I received from my aunt but to highlight why I am involved with At-Home Dads groups and why I write my blog. Honestly, this is why I do what I do.

"I will also take this time to share with you how proud I am of the dad you have become. I have to admit when your mom told me you were quitting your job to stay at home with the kids. I was like What!!! He is a man and father he needs to support his family. I did not understand nor did I want to. But now looking back I have to admit that was probably one of the best choices you could have made. You have grown so much as a father and a person since you have become a stay at home dad. You have 2 maybe 3 more years to be a stay at home daddy before Ben heads off to school, than I want you to get out and get a job: ) lol. You are building fond memories with your children and they will always be thankful for your roll as a father who took care of his kids and wife in a way that no other man can say he did. I now find myself defending stay at home father's instead of thinking of them as just being lazy. By watching you i have changed the way I think in so many ways myself. I am proud of you."

Her comment reflects what all At-Home Dads are trying to highlight that it is OK for a dad to stay home for his family. Yes, I will eventually get a job and hopefully a decent cereer but she is right these memoires will last for ever and I know I will look back on them fondly. And hopefully, so will my kids.

Also...As an at home parent it's nice to get this kind of praise.

It's That Time of Year Again: Disney On Ice Giveaway.

The month of March is full of thing people look forward to. For College students it's Saint Patrick's Day and Mardi Gras. For the Polish it's Fat Tuesday while Sports nuts have March Madness. For my wife it's all about the Shamrock Shake at McDonalds but for me it's Disney on Ice here in Metro Detroit. I have attended at least two Disney on Ice performances in the past with my daughter who is now 11. The past couple years I haven't had the chance to go but now that my kids are all 3 and up I think I can trust to take them without pulling out the hair I wish I had.

I have never kept it a secret about my love for figure skating. Ever since I was a kid I was fascinated by the sport. I used to follow it religiously in high school but now a days I only pay attention every 4 years; during the Winter Olympics. These yearly shows allow me to enjoy a sport I don't normally get to see live. Combine that with the fact it is Disney and kid friendly, meaning they don't have to like figure skating to enjoy the show, then you have a fun time to be had. 

On March 19th thru the 21st, Disney and FELD Entertainment will be bringing the Disney on Ice: Let's Celebrate show to the Palace of Auburn Hills right near me. It sounds like it will be fun with a number if our household favorite characters performing. Here is the description: 

"It’s one colossal party on ice, with all your favorite Disney friends! Join Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse as they celebrate a Very Merry Unbirthday Party with Alice and the Mad Hatter; Mardi Gras with Princess Tiana and Prince Naveen; a Royal Valentine’s Day Ball with the Disney Princesses; a Hawaiian luau with Lilo & Stitch; a winter wonderland with Woody, Jessie and Buzz Lightyear; a Halloween haunt with the Disney Villains and more in a magical medley of holidays, celebrations and festivals from around the globe. Come join the party when this spectacular ice show visits your hometown!" 

As a special promotion to my readers Disney on Ice is offering a discount on tickets.

Used the Code: 18MOM to get tickets for only $18!!

Just use this link to make your purchase and to see if you have any shows near you!

http://www.ticketmaster.com/venueartist/65562/1349262

Disclaimer: Valid on the $26 and $20 price levels only.  Not valid with any other offer or discount.  Must purchase via ticketmaster.com.  Limit of 8 tickets per order.  

Please thank them over at:

Facebook: Disney On Ice

Twitter: @DisneyOnIce

Now for the fun part!!!! The great people in charge of Disney on Ice, FELD Entertainment are going to give one of you lucky readers a set of 4 tickets to see Disney on Ice at the Palace of Auburn Hills with your family!!!

How do you win you may ask? Well...Fill out the form below.

Also if you do not want to like the pages that is required or use your Facebook account just leave a comment with your name and email and I will add you to the list

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Disclosure: FELD Entertainment is providing my family with tickets in exchange for this post.

Don't Shame the Girl, Shame the Parents

We have all seen it before. Some young girl wants to be famous and gets a music video made. It becomes viral for being terrible and the internet blows up. People start laughing and pointing at the young girl and in some cases even threatening the child. We first really saw it with Rebecca Black and her song "Friday" but now we have hit new low with "Shush Up" by Alison Gold.

In the video we see this 11 year old dancing around sexually in tight little outfits, being put on death row and even a few really creepy parts where she is upset about her adult boyfriend being locked up...Or something. I don't know I had to keep looking away out of fear the FBI would be knocking down my door for looking at this.

It is very easy to see this and go right for the girl but if you look deeper into what this is all about we should not be mad at her. This gem was created by Patrice Wilson of ARK Music Factory. What this guy does is charge a fee to write, produce and record a video for anyone that is willing to pay $2,000 to $4,000. Mind you, they get no rights to the song or video therefore Patrice Wilson is the one profiting from this garbage. In this case, much like the "Friday" video, we are seeing the parents paying for this man to do this for their child. 

What are these parents thinking! It is our job to protect our children and make sure they aren't presented in a way that will put them in danger. This video is a not only over-sexualizing a child but it is putting her in a position to be drooled over by pedophiles and ridiculed by the rest of the sane population. How can you protect you kids if you are paying someone to make something like this. I understand the girl probably is asking for this to be done but this is where you have to step in and say, "No" or "If you want but it has to be appropriate for your age." If they still want to make a video like this why must it be posted to Youtube? Can't you produce a song and video without releasing it to the public to mock.

To the parents of Alison Gold I say this: Take a good look at this video. See how the world is seeing your daughter in this video. Is that what you really want for her? I can't believe any parent would. I have an 11 year old the thought of her doing this make me taste vomit at the back of my throat. If you don't do something now and learn to tell them, "No." I guarantee you that you will regret it later if you don't.

Update: It would seem the video was taken down. Be happy you didn't get to see it.

Enjoy The Silence

Here I am sitting at my computer, the sun is bright and the 13 inches of snow outside my door is shining in every window. The only sound to be heard is the TV playing an episode of Octanauts and the occasional laugh and happy noises of a fidgeting 2 year old. My 3 oldest are not home because school is finally back in session. We had great Christmas break that wasn't to crazy and the weekend after January 1st we were all ready for school to start. Liam was ready to start his Violin lessons again, Jude wanted to see his friends again and Gabi was looking forward to having here holiday party that got set aside when school was canceled on the Friday before break. Then it started to snow; and snow and snow and snow. We looked at maps showing what areas in Michigan were going to get the most snow and found our house; right on the inner edge of the giant red dot showing what area would get 12+ inches of snow. I knew right then school would have to be canceled. Everything was going good until the Monday night. At the time, around 9:30pm, we had around 8 inches and the cable and internet went out. I thought, "OK. It should be back on in the morning and we will be fine." It wasn't back on in the morning. In fact it didn't come back on until 1pmWednesday. Tuesday was rough because the kids didn't want to watch any of the DVDs we had and just wanted to toss the toys around instead of actually play with them. By Wednesday they lost all interest in TV, until the cable came back later on, unfortunately they had already been terrible monsters fighting and screaming at every chance. But I managed to pull though, I got the house cleaned, laundry done and even had all the toys sorted and put away before Silva even got home. This, of course, means that now the house is mostly clean. In fact I feel like I don't know what to do. I'm trying to avoid things that will suck up all my time and make it go by fast but all I want to do is sleep. But it would be wrong of me to nap while my 2 year old is running around...Right? I guess I might as well just enjoy the silence..

I Knew You Before You Even Existed

I love music. There are many different genres and I can honestly say that I like something in every one of them. There are some I don't like as much as others, such there are still some rap songs that I do enjoy. Of all the many artists out there, I feel you can group them all into 4 different categories: Those that make music for the sake of music, those that make music for the sake of poetry, those that make music for the sake of money and those that make music for the sake of emotion. The first two are both great reasons. If you do it for music you pay attention to the sound and the movement of the sound. If you do it for poetry, the words are more important and you look to the music later. The third is not a good one at all and you only care about producing something that will be huge, so you lip sync or over modulate your voice and pay others to write your songs. The final is the rarest and most powerful of the 4. The 4th mixes the best of the first two. You look for the best sound you can to create a feeling that will make some one tear up. Then you look to the words and give it all the attention to complement the sound you created.

I have mentioned in a few of my posts on here about a group called M83 that has blown me away recently. This group creates emotion like it comes natural to them. Most of the time my listening to them has caused tears. The trailer for the movie "Cloud Atlas," which made me cry featured one of their songs. The movie "Oblivion" used them to score the entire film, which made me cry. In my post on my blog about the 18th Annual At-Home Dads Convention, I mention how the album caused me to tear up while thinking about my kids. That was with no visual influence. Just the words and music created an emotional connection to me that cause me to break down.

Now on to my real reason for bringing them up again. I have been listening to their most recent album a lot and their first track simply titled, "Intro", has a line that I have misinterpreted. I thought it said, "We KNEW you before you even existed", but it actually says, "We WERE you before you even existed". Before I even knew what the real words were I thought a lot about that phrase, "We knew you before we even existed". As a father of four kids I immediately thought about my kids. Actually, as a father I think about my kids with just about anything, but this time it made sense to me.

I never met my daughter until she was 18 months and didn't know she was mine until she was 2. One could imagine that it would be hard for an 18 year old to understand that this kid is a part of him, but for me it was right. When I looked into my Gabi's eyes I just knew I knew her before. I felt like I had always known her. It was as if I knew here before. Before she even existed. Since then there have been doubts about whether or not I am actually her father and I myself even question it. I never had a test done but something tells me that no test will give me an answer because I still knew her before. She has always been mine and I have always know we were destined to be together as a father and daughter. In 2007, my oldest son was born. When I saw him I knew I had known him forever. Before he existed. I knew who he was. It all clicked to me. The emotions I fear to show before he was born all came out. I saw us in him. I saw my wife, I saw myself and I knew that he was us. We were him. We came together to create him. His emotions, his love, his anger, his fear, his looks, his touch, his every being was us. We were him. Even now that he is 6 I still see us.

When a parent first sees their child they look at that little bundle of poop, pee & need and feel emotions because they actually feel like they always have known them. For a new dad, they see someone that makes sense. Someone that has always been there and will always be there. For a mother, it is more profound, that child has spend the past 9 months inside them so, in a way, they do know them. They know their sleeping schedule, their temperament and their emotion, all based on how they were acting in the womb. As parents, we are naturally bred to love our children. We knew them before they even existed.

"We didn't need a story, we didn't need a real world

We just had to keep walking

And we became the stories, we became the places

We were the lights, the deserts, the faraway worlds

We were you before you even existed"

Now that's poetry any parent can understand.

Guest Post: Dave Taylor: "SPORTS? WELL, I DO HAVE A SON..."

Happy Thanksgiving everyone! Today is the day where everyone watches football and it reminds me that I don't like football and that my kids are copying me in this dislike. The issue is I want them to like sports. I don't want them to grow up never finding out for themselves whether they like it or not. I have decided to try and get into it to try to get them to make their own decisions. Here is a special guest post from Dave Taylor at GoFatherhood.com about a different kid of football. Enjoy!

I don't know what kind of crossed DNA we had when he was conceived, but neither my ex nor I are particularly into sports, either playing or watching, yet my 13yo son is quite the athlete and fan. Truth is, I'm just not hugely competitive and as someone born in England, most American sports leave me bored to tears with the incessant ad breaks and 150 person teams full of specialists who can kick, run, pass, block or do the end-zone dance, but little else. How that's a sport escapes me.

But I also realize that when I was growing up, my Dad was not into any sports at all, even though he was quite a decent soccer player in London when he was in his teens and early twenties. Then the war showed up, he played against top-league professionals, pressure to earn money arose, and, well, he rapidly lost interest in sports.

That was his decision. But mine? Whether or not I'm an avid fan, I want my son -- and my daughters! -- to have the option of being into sports by exposing him to as many different teams as possible. Heck, he's quite the young athlete himself, alternating between basketball and lacrosse depending on the season. What teams does he support? Basically whatever the adults around him support. So that means the British Premier League soccer team the Tottenham Hotspurs because of my support of the team and the Broncos and Chiefs (confusingly!) because of us being in Colorado and his Mom having been born in Kansas City.

I've been to lots of live sports and they can be quite fun. I was particularly surprised by a Colorado Avalanche game that my son and I attended a while back that was way more fun than I expected! Baseball is more hit and miss and while I enjoy the "great American pastime" I always go to games prepared to be bored for at least one stretch of the game. And a no-hitter? Yaaawwwwnnn.

But I've always been a big fan of soccer, especially World Cup soccer, and even more so in the last 5-10 years or so. I don't know that I'd say I'm rabid or even avid, but I have a Spurs sweatshirt and team case for my iPhone. When they play and it's broadcast, I get up early to watch the matches, including when they get a real drubbing as they did last weekend from Manchester City. Yech. Does that make me fanatical?

My son definitely enjoys watching soccer matches with me, and when we can, I'll take him to a sports bar to get the social, audience experience. And he's clearly more of a sports fan than I am, happy to turn on a basketball, football, baseball or lacrosse game too. It's the least I can do, raising a boy.  And the fact that my daughters enjoy an occasional sporting event? That's just a lovely bonus.

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Dave Taylor blogs about being a single father at GoFatherhood.com and can be found on all major social media. Start by looking for him at @DaveTaylor on Twitter.

An Open Letter to Parents on the Playground: It Is OK to Play With Your Kids

I pulled up to the playground and me and my boys got excited. We come to this playground everyday and no one is ever here. Of course, I was happy about this at first; my social anxieties used to make me uncomfortable around other parents. Over the months, I began to notice my kids weren't having fun because there were no other kids. So imagine our excitement when we saw other kids! Now, imagine our disappointment when we notice you are sitting in your car while your 3 and 4 year olds are playing...Alone and as we approached the play area we heard your honk and then heard your shouts, "Come on! It's time to go!" And then all of our excitement was gone. I know you had to leave and I'm not blaming you for their disappointment but a minute after you left my 4 year old asked me this question: "Dad, why don't they play with their kids?"

I didn't know how to answer that. I couldn't come up with a good answer so I only said, "Some parents can't play with their kids like I can." Which is true. Maybe you had a surgery or you just aren't that young and aren't able to catch up. My kids are great in many ways. One of them being they are always giving me things to think about. This started me thinking.

Parenting is hard. We can all agree on that. All we ever do is deal with kids and when we have a moment, we just want to sit and enjoy it. The little ones are always there and they do not make things easier, that's for sure. But they still need us and play time is one of the best ways we can teach them. Over and over again when I go to the playgrounds that are popular and I see the same sight. Mom's and Dad's just sitting down and messing with their phone while the little ones run around in chaos. Of course, it is not everyone but this message isn't for the 25% (totally made up; number based on experience only) that do play and interact. This is for the phone moms and dads.

Most of the reason I go to this particular lonely park is because it is right next to my wife's work and we have 45 minutes to kill before we pick her up. The other is because I don't have to get weird looks from people sitting down while I am jumping around and playing in the sandbox. I have never liked putting myself in a position where people look at me so I like that I can play tag with the kids and run and slide down slides and jump off swings and...You get the picture. It allows me to act like a kid. You may not realize it but your kids are watching you. When they see you sitting on your phone ignoring everyone they will learn that it is OK to be that way. I think we can agree that is not what you want from your kids. You want them to be social and play with others. You don't want them sitting on the swings with their own phones Instagraming the sun and saying how awesome playing at the park is (which I have seen many time; seriously, anyone under the age of 13 DOES NOT NEED A SMART PHONE! But that's another post altogether). We want them to be friendly and not be afraid to play with other kids.

My point is that it is OK to play with your kids at the park. Let them see you having fun. Let them see you being silly. This is a moment where you can take a break from being mom or dad and be a friend. These little moments go a long way and when they are older they will remember it! Parenting is about having no regrets and raising our children the way they will look back and say, "Mom was so awesome. She was the one all the kids wanted to play with at the park." I am always certain to make moments and traditions that will last forever. When we go to the car; I will race them and sometimes I even let them win. When we are in elevators; I will tell them the elevator needs help and we need to push up with all our strength. These moments will be something my family will always cherish. Don't wait for your kids to create the good times...Create the good times for them.